alter table crumbly_cheese
move tablespace caerphilly;
You can't beat a classic cheese pun in SQL form ;)
May 242013
May 172013
insert into joyous_memories
select making_vast_improvements
from that_horrible_query
union all
select designing_data_models
from scalable_applications
union all
select heart_warming_smile
from your_newborn_child;
While there can be a lot of effort put in before getting these outcomes, the reward is worth it! :)
May 102013
select count(*)
from babies
where crying = any (
select understanding
from parents
);
COUNT(*)
--------
0
If anyone ever manages to create a baby-to-parent translation device,
I'm sure they'll become the richest person in the world!
May 032013
delete
from roads
where cars in ('my', 'way')
and desire_to_get_home_quickly = 'huge';
1,492 rows deleted
Now I just need to find a way to execute this before leaving work to ensure an smooth flowing journey home!
Apr 122013
select grip_on_reality
from parental_sanity
minus
select ear_piercing_screaming
from baby;
no rows selected
"Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children." - Sam Levenson
Apr 052013
declare
process_response_time number := 10;
response_time_sla number;
begin
<<tuning>>
loop
process_response_time :=
improved_execution_time ();
exit when
process_response_time <
response_time_sla;
end loop;
end;
/
It's far too easy to get stuck in a loop incrementally improving SQL runtimes when there's no defined SLA to hit.
In my experience these aren't normally set, leading to many a happy hour reading SQL traces!
Apr 012013
insert into twitter_accounts (
username, who
) values (
'@chrisrsaxon', user
);
I've finally decided to join this new-fangled twitter thing people keep talking about.
If you'd like to get in touch, just drop me a tweet.
Mar 292013
select 'Enjoy your ' ||
substr(tzname, instr(tzname, '/')+1) ||
' ' || substr(text, 8, 3) || 's!'
as "Season's Greetings"
from v$timezone_names, all_source
where tzabbrev = 'EASST'
and tzname like 'Pacific%'
and name = 'DBMS_REPCAT'
and line = 306;
Season's Greetings
-----------------------
Enjoy your Easter eggs!
I hope you have a great Easter, don't eat too many Easter eggs and thanks for following :)
Results above obtained on 11.2.0.2; other versions may vary!
Mar 152013
select *
from hard_parses
DESCRIPTION
------------------------------------
Oracle processing new SQL statements
Reading ancient Arabic
Both of these are slow and arduous tasks that you don't want to spend more time doing than you have to!
Mar 082013
select *
from bind_variables;
DESCRIPTION
------------------
The key to writing scalable and secure db apps
Magnitude of kinky restraint activities
I wholeheartedly endorse the widespread use of bind variables in your queries;
I couldn't possibly comment on the second item...