alter table crumbly_cheese move tablespace caerphilly; You can't beat a classic cheese pun in SQL form ;)
insert into joyous_memories select making_vast_improvements from that_horrible_query union all select designing_data_models from scalable_applications union all select heart_warming_smile from your_newborn_child; While there can be a lot of effort put in before getting these outcomes, the reward is worth it! :)
select count(*) from babies where crying = any ( select understanding from parents ); COUNT(*) -------- 0 If anyone ever manages to create a baby-to-parent translation device, I'm sure they'll become the richest person in the world!
delete from roads where cars in ('my', 'way') and desire_to_get_home_quickly = 'huge'; 1,492 rows deleted Now I just need to find a way to execute this before leaving work to ensure an smooth flowing journey home!
select grip_on_reality from parental_sanity minus select ear_piercing_screaming from baby; no rows selected "Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children." - Sam Levenson
declare process_response_time number := 10; response_time_sla number; begin <<tuning>> loop process_response_time := improved_execution_time (); exit when process_response_time < response_time_sla; end loop; end; / It's far too easy to get stuck in a loop incrementally improving SQL runtimes when there's no defined SLA to hit. In my experience these aren't normally set, leading to many a happy hour reading SQL traces!
insert into twitter_accounts ( username, who ) values ( '@chrisrsaxon', user ); I've finally decided to join this new-fangled twitter thing people keep talking about. If you'd like to get in touch, just drop me a tweet.
select 'Enjoy your ' || substr(tzname, instr(tzname, '/')+1) || ' ' || substr(text, 8, 3) || 's!' as "Season's Greetings" from v$timezone_names, all_source where tzabbrev = 'EASST' and tzname like 'Pacific%' and name = 'DBMS_REPCAT' and line = 306; Season's Greetings ----------------------- Enjoy your Easter eggs! I hope you have a great Easter, don't eat too many Easter eggs and thanks for following :) Results above obtained on 220.127.116.11; other versions may vary!
select * from hard_parses DESCRIPTION ------------------------------------ Oracle processing new SQL statements Reading ancient Arabic Both of these are slow and arduous tasks that you don't want to spend more time doing than you have to!
select * from bind_variables; DESCRIPTION ------------------ The key to writing scalable and secure db apps Magnitude of kinky restraint activities I wholeheartedly endorse the widespread use of bind variables in your queries; I couldn't possibly comment on the second item...