Starting 2013 with a Bang!

create trigger nuclear_fission 
for update on  uranium compound trigger

  cursor remaining_material is
    select rowid, u.*
    from   uranium u
    where  atomic_mass = 235
    and    rownum <= 
      (select count(*) from neutrons);
  
  fissile_matter remaining_material%rowtype;
  
  after each row is 
  begin
    if :new.atomic_mass = 236 then 
      insert into krypton (atomic_mass) 
      values (92);
      insert into barium  (atomic_mass) 
      values (141);
      insert into neutrons (atomic_mass) 
      values (1);
      insert into neutrons (atomic_mass) 
      values (1);
      insert into neutrons (atomic_mass) 
      values (1);
    end if;
  end after each row;

  after statement is
  begin
    open remaining_material;
    loop 
    
      fetch remaining_material 
      into  fissile_matter; 
      exit when remaining_material%notfound;
      
      update uranium
      set    atomic_mass = atomic_mass + 
        (select atomic_mass 
         from   neutrons 
         where  rownum = 1)
      where  atomic_mass = 235
      and    rowid = fissile_matter.rowid;
      
      delete neutrons;
    
    end loop;
    close remaining_material;
    
    delete uranium 
    where  atomic_mass = 236;
    
  end after statement;
  
end;
/It may not generate your database any extra power, 
but at least you won't have to deal with leftover radioactive material

To start your own nuclear reaction, use this.